jlou

From delish.com

Behold the World’s Largest Cupcake

The Food Network’s Duff Goldman lives up to his Ace of Cakes title by baking the largest cupcake in history — now entered in the Guinness Book of World Records. The 61.4-pound creation is more than a foot tall and entirely edible.

I hate to break it to you, Duff, but I believe what you created here is just a cake. Not even a particularly big cake. Also, it doesn’t even have a snazzy frosting job. Good try, though.

I just watched roughly 5 minutes of the RNC. I heard “maverick” 6 times, 3 of those seriously within the first 30 seconds or so. The republicans clearly don’t care about me. Shame, as I’m such a dedicated voter.

A note to republicans - First of all, I’m thoroughly insulted by McCain’s VP pick. Secondly, if I hear him referred to as a “maverick” one more time I may start strangling people. Imagine my embarrassment if there’s an 85-year-old nearby. There is only room for one maverick in my life, and his name is Mel Gibson.

A note to American Eagle - I realize earlier this week I informed you that I’m done with your company and would not be purchasing products from you anymore. I also realize I placed an order today. Don’t think I’ve forgiven you. I simply had a gift card to use, and you had a free shipping deal.

A note to Ikea - You’re shipping charges are ridiculous. Seriously. OMG. So high.

Today I made it only 30 minutes on WNYC. Today’s hot story? Some guy followed an 85-year-old lady onto an elevator, choked her until she passed out (lifting her into the air by her neck, mind you - the video can be found online if you’re into that kind of thing), and made off with $900 and her cane! As Adam Carolla would say: Definitely not a Jew!

Today, I was able to listen to WNYC for nearly one full hour before NYC-centric news depressed/disgusted me into turning it off. The phrase that put me over the edge? “The city’s anti-groping campaign…”

Remember that time the random guy told me I looked geeky? Notice how I’m still not over it? Good. Allow us to continue. Last night I was watching an episode of The X-Files. Perhaps you remember Invisigoth:



Anybody care to guess what her vocation is? If you said Computer Genius, you would be correct.

This got me thinking. Here we have the computer guru from NCIS:

And who could forget Hackers:

Compare the above women to a picture of me from today:

Yikes! Somebody needs a makeover! If only I were more open to the idea of neck tattoos and heavy eye makeup. *sigh*. At least I have the pale thing down.

I’m just thinking - supposing somebody is a socially awkward foreigner, it might not be a huge assumption to think perhaps they get a lot of ideas about things from tv, in which case I am pretty Plain Jane for a computer girl. Right? Work with me here, people!

Does anybody else suspect that Shia LaBeouf’s latest part is that of Corey Feldman’s assistant on The Two Coreys? See…

So Mom was right about the tulips, but now the tulips are gone. My current response when asked what I have in my flower beds will be “Um…weeds? Weeds and/or ugly plants??”

If anybody knows any reason why I should not dig up these things, you have until this weekend to let me know.

I’m pissed.

After years of hearing some of the smartest people I know talk about their love of Jack Kerouac, I finally decided to give one of his books a try. Those smart people have a hell of a lot of explaining to do.

Granted, I probably did not pick the most accessible of his books to start with - On the Road: The Original Scroll. Don’t let the hype fool you folks, this is not some modern masterpiece. This is 400 pages of run-on sentences, limited punctuation, and no paragraphs. Technical elements aside, the story sucks too (I’m using the term “story” here loosely - very, very, very loosely). I don’t want to hear anybody tell me about how this is a story of passionate, spirited, young America. This is the story of a bunch of bums with drugs. While they obviously had nothing worthwhile to do with their lives, I can certainly find something better to do with mine than struggle through the final 70 pages of this P.O.S.

I hate you, Jack Kerouac.

The upside of working from home and therefore never driving: I’ve filled up my gas tank like 3 times this year.

The downside of working from home and therefore never driving: I found myself in the unpleasant situation yesterday of being 3 hours away from home and realizing a.) I didn’t have nearly enough gas to get me home and b.) it’s been so long since I filled up that I didn’t remember how to pop the gas tank door thing.