As far as I can figure, The Gap has been selling the exact same clothing items for at least the past 10 years. After a year in Bozeman, I finally decided I wander into our local Gap to see what they had to offer me. To no surprise, it was the same thing they’ve had every time I’ve been in any Gap. Cable knit sweaters now available in pastel shades??!! The Basic T in regular or v-neck??!?!?! The Classic Trouser in black, khaki, and charcoal?! Whoa, Gap, lets not get too carried away now.
September 4, 2007
March 9, 2007
Because it’s been forever since I really posted anything, I start I’d get back into it with an short update of what I am and am not into these days.
Things I’ve Recently Decided I Don’t Like:
1.) eXtreme sports - I don’t care if you can ride one of those little bikes. I don’t care what you jump off of or how fast you go while doing it. You may think you’re cool, and maybe you are, but it’s not because of this. (Further lameness points earned if you wear a helmet but have the strap dangling well below your chin.)
2.) Musicals - I liked them alright until about my 11th birthday when I suddenly realized that people never really break into song and dance. Then they just seemed weird. Now they just seem annoying.
Things I Still Don’t Like:
1.) Water - I’m trying hard not to be one of those obnoxious people that are strangely proud of not being able to do things that normal people can do, but whatever. I don’t swim, and that’s that. I don’t like water. I don’t see myself liking it in the future. I don’t look good wet or in a bathing suit. Unless I somehow become ridiculously rich and can afford a personal swimming teacher (strict confidentiality a requirement, of course) and private pool access, I just don’t see me ever swimming. I’m okay with that.
2.) I.M. spelling - Including but not limited to ‘nite’, ‘thanx’, ‘kewl’, and any word that can be represented by a single letter. This also applies to pop song titles (r u listening, Usher? Prince?)
Things I Recently Decided I Like:
1.) NPR - As long as they aren’t talking about the city, you can’t beat WNYC. Once they start in about some decidedly NYC topic, I’m suicidal…or homicidal…or both. No wonder so many seemingly normal people find themselves in trouble in Law & Order.
2.) Woody Allen movies - Even the crappier ones are better than 90% of other movies out there. I just try to forget about his personal life when I watch them. I have noticed almost all of them list the cast in alphabetical order. Do you think that’s just his sneaky way of always getting his name listed first? I have my suspicions.
Things I Still Like:
1.) Diet Coke - It’s still the best soda ever. Period.
2.) Loveline - Is it weird that I listen to hours of it every day? Is it weird that I sing along to the ‘Germany or Florida?’ song every time they play it? I hope not. And even if it is, I don’t care. I love it.
December 17, 2006
This year I came to an important conclusion: I am a big dork, and despite what She’s All That would have you believe, big dorks cannot pull off the classic “little black dress”. If anything, they simply make us look more homely. I can guarantee whoever decided the black dress is a staple of a woman’s wardrobe was either a.) a natural sexpot or b.) only willing to date natural sexpots. I hate that person.
July 17, 2006
Top 5 Musical Crimes Perpetrated by Van Morrison. GO!
I offer the following Van Morrison song lyric excerpt as evidence that he’s terrible: “I’m a songwriter and I do it for a living/I’m a songwriter and I write ’bout men and women.” I don’t know which is more offensive to the listener - the lack of inspiration or the attempt to make “living” rhyme with “women”. I suspect perhaps all his genius was used up in “Brown Eyed Girl” - a song I’m quite convinced was only penned so in future years Winnie Cooper would have a theme song.
July 11, 2006
Upon listening to Coldplay on an old episode of Loveline today, I am now willing to admit that I like the following things about them:
1. They’ve never heard of a pinata.
2. They’re far less judgemental than I thought was possible for any human.
3. They’re British and therefore get to say aluminum like al-yoo-min-ium (Sorry, but I don’t use the same pronunciation notation as the rest of the world. Let’s be honest, an upside-down ‘e’ doesn’t mean jack squat to you or me.). If I thought I could get away with such a pronunciation without being shoved in a snow bank, I would do the same. I’m reminded of the pharmacy student whose name I don’t actually remember, but whose email address was skintonium@whatever.com. And that reminds me of that black and white sitcom where the dorky guy was in love with his hot blond neighbor (much like a white version of Family Matters). The one scene I remember involved the boy telling the girl’s mom how God had done amazing things with skin when it came to her daughter. I was a little disgusted about it at the time, and I’m still a little disgusted about it still today.
Still, I dislike the following things about them:
1. Their music.
2. The majority of their fans. Even the fans of theirs that I like otherwise, I generally cannot handle once they start talking about Coldplay. These are the same people that think Gwen Stefani is a goddess. While I’m on the topic, I’ve decided just now that Gwen Stefani is going to take her rightful place on my Top 3 Worst Singers/Bands of All Time list. I think I shall bump Van Morrison. He’s still terrible, but at least he’s not in your face and terrible.
April 4, 2006
Did Marilu Henner give you a milk complex too?
If so, boy do I have the beverage for you! It is a delightful combination of rice and soy milks (juices, if you’re my brother) called EdenBlend (Follow the link if you aren’t fortunate to have access to a Good Food Store type place). I’ve been trying to like rice milk and soy milk on their own about once a year for the better part of a decade.
Every year is the same thing:
step 1: I buy a carton of something, telling myself I like it.
step 2: I pour a glass, telling myself it’s okay for “milk” to be that color and consistency.
step 3: I take an optimistic gulp, once again telling myself that I like it.
step 4: I remember why consumption of such products hasn’t been a habit since I was too young to not know it wasn’t regular milk.
step 5: I try to force down the rest of the carton, telling myself I’ll like it if only I let myself get used to it.
step 6: The carton goes bad.
So that’s that. I was expecting this event to be much like the others. To my surprise, the EdenBlend is delicious (so delicious, I call it delicioso) from the first taste! It has the jlou seal of approval for sure.
November 23, 2005
ma-d-dOX!!!!
a. I am not that bad of a driver! Yes, I hit that mailbox once with my Mom’s truck (love you, Mom). And yes, there is a rumor about me and a dog, but it was a very foggy night, and the dog totally hit me. And maybe I got a speeding ticket for going 100 mph, but I was quite proud of myself for keeping my speed in check until I got pulled over. Plus, I don’t think I’ve gone over 25 in months.
b. Granted, I’ve never been there, but Utah isn’t all that rad from what I’ve heard.
c. You’re only amusing when your making fun of children’s artwork, Maddox.
Note: The proper pronunciation of ‘ma-d-dOX!!!!’ can only be achieved by Craig or Jeremy, who both know that the proper formula for funny involves 3 syllables and increasing intensity. I have also added a shaking fist pointed towards the big Montanan sky.
October 25, 2005
Today I purchased what I count to be my 5th drivers license product in the past 4 years. This, my friends, is simply ridiculous. I also fail to see the point. I propose some sort of national license. Or perhaps some sort of multi-state license for all those states that don’t care if you actually know their laws (Montana, for example). Did I mention that the temporary license they gave me today is too big to fit into my purse even? So now I’ve just dropped $40.50 to be able to drive in this fine state until 2013, and I need to find a new purse to use for the next 2 - 6 weeks. I considered making up the cost by selling my Idaho license to freshman looking to join in on Wasted Wednesday style (dare I call it) fun. To contribute or not contribute, that is the question. Do you deny this service? Or do you deny the character building experience of weaseling your way past the Red’s bouncers in new and creative ways? I think I shall take the legal road because (a.) Police scare me and (b.) I don’t know any minors anyway.
October 16, 2005
It seems that I have recently become addicted to shopping for used books on amazon.com. Where else can you find new books for as little as $0.01 (plus shipping, of course, but still a hell of a deal)? I offer you all this mini book report on the most recent book I read, The Dogs of Babel by Carolyn Parkhurst:
Guy dedicates his life to teaching his dog how to talk in an attempt to learn the details surrounding his wife’s sudden death. Reader is left convinced that dead wife was crazy and wondering why guy is so upset that she’s gone.
For those of you sold by my summary, I see that you can now get a ‘very good’ hardcover for $0.11 at the moment. You could also probably ask me nicely and get a ‘like new’ one for free.
If you ask me, Amazon should just give up with their recommendation feature (?). I don’t know the logic behind their recommendations, but it should definitely be rethought. I’m just saying, I think the last person to recommend Weezer to me got punched.
July 29, 2005
I know that I don’t have anything worth blogging, but I also know that people addicted to my blog will lose interest with it if I don’t keep my posts current. And since I’ve estimated that Chris Rodkey has at least 70 members (plus countless of non-members that don’t know why but just can’t stay away) on his photo journal action, I figure that anything is possible. For all my readers, these are the issues bothering me today:
- I simply can’t handle it when people attempt to replicate a big kiss by typing “muah” or any such variation. And no, this does not mean that I want everybody ending every comment and email to me with that (pay attention Jeremy and Tracey).
- I read in Newsweek today that Myspace.com is something like the 5th highest web site when it comes to visitors or something like that. Okay, I screwed that up, but the point is that a hell of a lot of people go to it. Why don’t people see it for the crap that it is? It’s a good idea gone terribly wrong by throngs of creepy people.
I’d like to warn all of my loyal JDCQOTD follows that this next week I am planning on sitting down for some quality time with Season 5. Brush up or get left behind.
I’m noticing that Craig is over at his desk chuckling and coding. Everybody might want to check out his site to see what it is that he’s up to. He’s laughing harder now. Really people…it’s got to be some sort of breakthrough in PHP. Go now.