This weekend I happened to catch the tail end of Arcade Fire on Austin City Limits. I’ve seen them perform on tv a few times now, and every time it seems to be a 3-step process for me.
Step 1: Confusion (estimated time: 2 sec.) - What the hell is this horrendous noise?! Is this live from Coney Island?? How many people are in this band?!? Ah yes, it’s Arcade Fire.
Step 2: Criticism (estimated time: 4 min.) - Regine scares me, and rightfully so; I think she could swallow me in 1 gulp. She has a huge mouth. Really huge. Win sort of scares me too. What’s with his hair? Wow, I haven’t seen an accordion since Family Matters was on the air. And a French horn. Seriously? Is this the part of the song where everybody yells together? Just what I was hoping for. I bet there’s so many of them so they stand a chance against people wanting to beat them up.
Step 3: Borderline Obsession (estimated time: 1+ week) - I’m going to have whatever song they just played on repeat until I happen to come across my next musical obsession. Wow. This band is outstanding.
I should mention that after the performance, they aired an interview with the band. It’s only fair for me to mention that Regine, Win, and the others were not the least bit scary and actually showed signs of humor. I take back all the mean things I said about them.
Looking to pass the time? Realizing that I haven’t posted anything for you to read yet again? Well, dear friend, truck on over to Jonathan Carroll’s blog. He posts daily and each post is hands down smarter, more interesting, and more well-written than anything you’ll find here. Bookmark it.
Because it’s been forever since I really posted anything, I start I’d get back into it with an short update of what I am and am not into these days.
Things I’ve Recently Decided I Don’t Like:
1.) eXtreme sports - I don’t care if you can ride one of those little bikes. I don’t care what you jump off of or how fast you go while doing it. You may think you’re cool, and maybe you are, but it’s not because of this. (Further lameness points earned if you wear a helmet but have the strap dangling well below your chin.)
2.) Musicals - I liked them alright until about my 11th birthday when I suddenly realized that people never really break into song and dance. Then they just seemed weird. Now they just seem annoying.
Things I Still Don’t Like:
1.) Water - I’m trying hard not to be one of those obnoxious people that are strangely proud of not being able to do things that normal people can do, but whatever. I don’t swim, and that’s that. I don’t like water. I don’t see myself liking it in the future. I don’t look good wet or in a bathing suit. Unless I somehow become ridiculously rich and can afford a personal swimming teacher (strict confidentiality a requirement, of course) and private pool access, I just don’t see me ever swimming. I’m okay with that.
2.) I.M. spelling - Including but not limited to ‘nite’, ‘thanx’, ‘kewl’, and any word that can be represented by a single letter. This also applies to pop song titles (r u listening, Usher? Prince?)
Things I Recently Decided I Like:
1.) NPR - As long as they aren’t talking about the city, you can’t beat WNYC. Once they start in about some decidedly NYC topic, I’m suicidal…or homicidal…or both. No wonder so many seemingly normal people find themselves in trouble in Law & Order.
2.) Woody Allen movies - Even the crappier ones are better than 90% of other movies out there. I just try to forget about his personal life when I watch them. I have noticed almost all of them list the cast in alphabetical order. Do you think that’s just his sneaky way of always getting his name listed first? I have my suspicions.
Things I Still Like:
1.) Diet Coke - It’s still the best soda ever. Period.
2.) Loveline - Is it weird that I listen to hours of it every day? Is it weird that I sing along to the ‘Germany or Florida?’ song every time they play it? I hope not. And even if it is, I don’t care. I love it.
Upon listening to Coldplay on an old episode of Loveline today, I am now willing to admit that I like the following things about them:
1. They’ve never heard of a pinata.
2. They’re far less judgemental than I thought was possible for any human.
3. They’re British and therefore get to say aluminum like al-yoo-min-ium (Sorry, but I don’t use the same pronunciation notation as the rest of the world. Let’s be honest, an upside-down ‘e’ doesn’t mean jack squat to you or me.). If I thought I could get away with such a pronunciation without being shoved in a snow bank, I would do the same. I’m reminded of the pharmacy student whose name I don’t actually remember, but whose email address was skintonium@whatever.com. And that reminds me of that black and white sitcom where the dorky guy was in love with his hot blond neighbor (much like a white version of Family Matters). The one scene I remember involved the boy telling the girl’s mom how God had done amazing things with skin when it came to her daughter. I was a little disgusted about it at the time, and I’m still a little disgusted about it still today.
Still, I dislike the following things about them:
1. Their music.
2. The majority of their fans. Even the fans of theirs that I like otherwise, I generally cannot handle once they start talking about Coldplay. These are the same people that think Gwen Stefani is a goddess. While I’m on the topic, I’ve decided just now that Gwen Stefani is going to take her rightful place on my Top 3 Worst Singers/Bands of All Time list. I think I shall bump Van Morrison. He’s still terrible, but at least he’s not in your face and terrible.
Anybody who knows me knows that there has been something lacking in my life for a great number of years - a nonsucky computer. That all ends now. I would like to present to you my baby:
Her name is Lola, and she is 1 day old. Together, we are bound for greatness.
It seems that I have recently become addicted to shopping for used books on amazon.com. Where else can you find new books for as little as $0.01 (plus shipping, of course, but still a hell of a deal)? I offer you all this mini book report on the most recent book I read, The Dogs of Babel by Carolyn Parkhurst:
Guy dedicates his life to teaching his dog how to talk in an attempt to learn the details surrounding his wife’s sudden death. Reader is left convinced that dead wife was crazy and wondering why guy is so upset that she’s gone.
For those of you sold by my summary, I see that you can now get a ‘very good’ hardcover for $0.11 at the moment. You could also probably ask me nicely and get a ‘like new’ one for free.
If you ask me, Amazon should just give up with their recommendation feature (?). I don’t know the logic behind their recommendations, but it should definitely be rethought. I’m just saying, I think the last person to recommend Weezer to me got punched.
I know I made a big point about how Rubik’s cubes are impossible and anybody that claims otherwise is a liar. Unfortunately I must take all of this back. I offer the following picture as evidence why:
Yes, it’s true, I solved that cube myself (with a little help from Tracey). It is on display in my apartment if anybody would like to see it first-hand.
It seems the public is excited to see my attempt gazelling. Unfortunately, Target.com informs me that I should not expect my package for at least another 11 days. Boo to that! We must be patient, my friends.
..just wait until you see me on the Gazelle. Yes, that’s right. I have purchased the Tony Little Gazelle (as you’ve seen on the t.v. infomercials and the Wayne Brady show). It will ship in 5 - 7 days, after which time you will be able to find me in my living room, gazelling to Dawson’s Creek. 45 minutes will never go by so quickly. You don’t even have to ask, I will be posting pictures for everybody’s enjoyment.