jlou

jlou — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 21:25:30 +0000

Behold the World’s Largest Cupcake

The Food Network’s Duff Goldman lives up to his Ace of Cakes title by baking the largest cupcake in history — now entered in the Guinness Book of World Records. The 61.4-pound creation is more than a foot tall and entirely edible.

I hate to break it to you, Duff, but I believe what you created here is just a cake. Not even a particularly big cake. Also, it doesn’t even have a snazzy frosting job. Good try, though.

jlou — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 01:34:51 +0000

I just watched roughly 5 minutes of the RNC. I heard “maverick” 6 times, 3 of those seriously within the first 30 seconds or so. The republicans clearly don’t care about me. Shame, as I’m such a dedicated voter.

jlou — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 03:20:03 +0000

A note to republicans - First of all, I’m thoroughly insulted by McCain’s VP pick. Secondly, if I hear him referred to as a “maverick” one more time I may start strangling people. Imagine my embarrassment if there’s an 85-year-old nearby. There is only room for one maverick in my life, and his name is Mel Gibson.

A note to American Eagle - I realize earlier this week I informed you that I’m done with your company and would not be purchasing products from you anymore. I also realize I placed an order today. Don’t think I’ve forgiven you. I simply had a gift card to use, and you had a free shipping deal.

A note to Ikea - You’re shipping charges are ridiculous. Seriously. OMG. So high.

You’ve Outdone Yourself, NYC

jlou — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 15:35:29 +0000

Today I made it only 30 minutes on WNYC. Today’s hot story? Some guy followed an 85-year-old lady onto an elevator, choked her until she passed out (lifting her into the air by her neck, mind you - the video can be found online if you’re into that kind of thing), and made off with $900 and her cane! As Adam Carolla would say: Definitely not a Jew!

Congratulations, New York!

jlou — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 01:21:11 +0000

Today, I was able to listen to WNYC for nearly one full hour before NYC-centric news depressed/disgusted me into turning it off. The phrase that put me over the edge? “The city’s anti-groping campaign…”

jlou — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 01:10:30 +0000

Remember that time the random guy told me I looked geeky? Notice how I’m still not over it? Good. Allow us to continue. Last night I was watching an episode of The X-Files. Perhaps you remember Invisigoth:

Anybody care to guess what her vocation is? If you said Computer Genius, you would be correct.

This got me thinking. Here we have the computer guru from NCIS:

And who could forget Hackers:

Compare the above women to a picture of me from today:

Yikes! Somebody needs a makeover! If only I were more open to the idea of neck tattoos and heavy eye makeup. *sigh*. At least I have the pale thing down.

I’m just thinking - supposing somebody is a socially awkward foreigner, it might not be a huge assumption to think perhaps they get a lot of ideas about things from tv, in which case I am pretty Plain Jane for a computer girl. Right? Work with me here, people!

jlou — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 04:34:16 +0000

Does anybody else suspect that Shia LaBeouf’s latest part is that of Corey Feldman’s assistant on The Two Coreys? See…

Shia:

“Jake”:

jlou — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 23:34:31 +0000

So Mom was right about the tulips, but now the tulips are gone. My current response when asked what I have in my flower beds will be “Um…weeds? Weeds and/or ugly plants??”

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Exhibit C

Exhibit D

If anybody knows any reason why I should not dig up these things, you have until this weekend to let me know.

jlou — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 20:31:19 +0000

I’m pissed.

After years of hearing some of the smartest people I know talk about their love of Jack Kerouac, I finally decided to give one of his books a try. Those smart people have a hell of a lot of explaining to do.

Granted, I probably did not pick the most accessible of his books to start with - On the Road: The Original Scroll. Don’t let the hype fool you folks, this is not some modern masterpiece. This is 400 pages of run-on sentences, limited punctuation, and no paragraphs. Technical elements aside, the story sucks too (I’m using the term “story” here loosely - very, very, very loosely). I don’t want to hear anybody tell me about how this is a story of passionate, spirited, young America. This is the story of a bunch of bums with drugs. While they obviously had nothing worthwhile to do with their lives, I can certainly find something better to do with mine than struggle through the final 70 pages of this P.O.S.

I hate you, Jack Kerouac.

jlou — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 17:50:34 +0000

The upside of working from home and therefore never driving: I’ve filled up my gas tank like 3 times this year.

The downside of working from home and therefore never driving: I found myself in the unpleasant situation yesterday of being 3 hours away from home and realizing a.) I didn’t have nearly enough gas to get me home and b.) it’s been so long since I filled up that I didn’t remember how to pop the gas tank door thing.