Today was it - the day I wait for all year. No, not my birthday. No, not the VMA’s. It was yearly exam day! Now, I think that I’m quite the healthy person. I filled out all the medical history forms they gave me, putting an ‘x’ in very few ‘yes’ boxes. My body’s not perfect, but there sure is worse human fluid that you could come in contact with; this is for sure. The nurse I saw seemed to think otherwise though. She got only a few lines down in my background before the discussion took a rather disheartening turn:
Her: You have ________ !!!! (You can fill in with your favorite disease. She said the name of a disease that I don’t exactly have, but had to put down anyway because of the circumstances. Have no fear, you probably know about it already. I just decided to leave it blank for the sake of keeping something in the neighborhood of privacy.)
Me: Well, sort of but I was treated and all, so you really don’t have to worry. It’s just that how the question was worded and all…
Her: When was the last time you had a __________? (You can fill that in with the name of a procedure to check for the progression of your above favorite disease.)
Me: Well, never.
Her: When was the last time you were tested for __________? (Fill in with favorite disease again.)
Me: Not since I tested positive. I’ll just test positive again.
Her: (makes facial expression version of ‘Oh, yeah. That’s true.’
Me: (makes facial expression version of ‘I just lost faith in her medical knowledge.’)
Her: How do you protect yourself from genital worts?
The conversation went even more downhill at this point. The details of which I will leave out for the sake of all of us. By the time the actual examination began, she was wearing a surgical mask and two pairs of gloves. I need more ice cream now.
September 20, 2005
September 15, 2005
It was brought to my attention today that I am the 7th hit if you search for ‘jlou’ on google’s blog search. I was a little disappointed with that until I realized that all the hits from half way down page 1 through the beginning of page 4 are me. Take that jlou86 and that law student girl! I have high hopes of eventually dominating the jlou blog scene. Stay with me and be a part of history.
September 12, 2005
So it seems I forgot to go back to Idaho this weekend. If it makes anybody feel any better, I did have a wonderful weekend sitting in bed, eating gummy candies, and watching movies. I finished reading The Time Traveler’s Wife, which is a phenomenal book although it did throw me into some sort of depressed funk that I’m still working my way out of. I haven’t been this saddened by a work of fiction since the last time I tried to watch What Dreams May Come. (For those of you who did not have the honor of witnessing that event, I was forced to watch the movie in several stages over the course of a week.) Also, I didn’t appreciate that the only times my birthday appeared in the book, something tragic was occuring.
After realizing that I wake up from dreams about programming more often that not, I have decided that perhaps a hobby is in order. Here is where I call upon friends/family/strangers/whoever for help. Suggestions for a new hobby can be submitted as comments to the blog or emailed to me with “Jessie’s new hobby!” as a subject. All serious suggestions (you know what I’m talking about) will be given a trial to last no less than 1 week. Results will, of course, be documented on jlou. Help, please.
-Jessie
September 7, 2005
For Amanda!
In honor of Amanda’s blog name (however temporary it may be), I would like to list my top 5 favorite Amanda/Jessie events and/or activities. So here they are, in no particular order:
1. Eating our lettuce garnishes at Shari’s.
2. Taking pictures of basketball boys while pretending to be taking pictures of Nikki and blasting Genuine from my late ’80s luxury coupe (may it rest in peace).
3. The bowling dance.
4. The time those Post Falls boys took our pictures for the yearbook, showed them to all their friends, and claimed that we just “really really wanted our pictures taken.”
5. Man Stallion!
September 1, 2005
All loyal (or semi-loyal) jlou followers are encouraged to keep their eyes open for a nice, reliable AUTOMATIC vehicle for me - nothing fancy, but I do require AC. I have recently accepted the fact that, if I haven’t become proficient with the ol’ stick shift yet, it just isn’t going to happen. But I never actually thought that my skills would regress. I now find myself on the downhill side of some sort of driving proficiency peak. Wasn’t it bad enough when I just couldn’t parallel park? Now all I do is park. All the time. Like today. In the middle of malfunction junction. Oh, the humanity!
All summer, I have been preparing myself for this very week when all the youngsters return to their studies. Monday morning I still found myself with that strange feeling in my stomach I only get on a. the first day of school and b. early morning flights. I maybe even had a special first-day-of-school outfit picked up, but that can neither be confirmed nor denied. I’m not missing the homework, but I sure as hell miss the school supply shopping. God, I love school supplies.
OK, all you punk rockers out there. Enough is enough with the punk cover of very unpunk like songs. I know you think you’re funny, but it’s been done. Just face it, you cannot improve Elton John. Hell, you can’t even improve Phil Collins. Nope, not even Britney Spears.
And a happy birthday goes out to the brother unit who, in a few hours, will be a full 1/4 century old. It seems like only yesterday he was so excited have officially been alive for a decade.