The Scene: It’s last night (Neil Diamond night on AI). Little Davey A. is preparing to sing America.
Me - DO YOU THINK THAT WHEN HE GETS TO THE PART THAT GOES “TODAY!” HE’LL DO A LITTLE JUMP?! MAYBE PUMP HIS FIST INTO THE AIR?! I HAVEN’T VOTED IN LIKE 6 YEARS, BUT I’LL TOTALLY VOTE FOR HIM IF HE DOES THAT!!
…cut to half way through the song…
Me - HE HASN’T DONE A SINGLE “TODAY!”. THE BACKUP SINGERS ARE DOING ALL OF THEM, AND THEY AREN’T EVEN BEING SPIRITED ABOUT IT. IF HE DOESN’T GIVE ME A SINGLE “TODAY!” I’M VOTING ONCE FOR EVERYBODY ELSE!! I MEAN IT!
…cut to the end of the song…
Me - YOU LET ME DOWN, DAVEY! WHERE’S MY PHONE?
So then I voted once for Jason. And then once for David Cook. Then Brooke. I thought twice, but I even voted once for Syesha. But then I remembered that little David supposedly has an overbearing stage dad. And he really does seem like a sweet kid. So I voted once for him too. Crap, now I’ve voted once for everybody. That doesn’t do anybody any good. So then I voted for David Cook again. And again. And once more for good measure. After all, like Seacrest reminds me every week, I have to work to keep my favorite in the competition.
There are a couple things I would like to set straight before I continue.
1. I hate Tom Waits. I’ve never heard Danny Bonaduce sing, but I bet he’d sound a lot like Tom Waits (this is the same thing I said about Amanda Overmeyer, fyi).
2. I’m eh on Scarlett Johansson. I could take her or leave her. Unless we’re talking about Lost in Translation, in which case I’m totally for leaving her.
That being said, the thought of Scarlett Johansson’s Tom Waits cover album seemed bizarre and comical at best. Then, this morning one of my favorite blogs posted a link to her video for Falling Down and proceeded to explain how much it sucked. The moment I’d been waiting for! …cut to 5 minutes later… At the risk of compromising my indie cred, I’m going to have to admit that I love it. Not just a little bit. We’re talking continuous song repeat love here, folks. So I don’t know what’s wrong here, but something is. The blog showed her no mercy, and the song only has 2.5 stars on iTunes (seriously the lowest rating I’ve ever seen for anything). That suggests that maybe something is wrong with me. Then again, I’ve always sort of thought that other people have crappy taste in music… I’m so confused.
You should probably just take a listen yourself.
People keep asking what kind of plants/landscaping we have at our new house. I say, “Um…rocks? Rock and hay?”
Then, today I notice we’re starting to sprout some real plants. Now when people ask, I’ll say “Um…leeks?”
Friday Evening - Buy slice of chocolate cake. It’s not just regular chocolate cake. It’s vegan chocolate cake, so I can justify the purchase under the category of “Trying Something New”. Look forward to eating cake for dessert.
Friday Night - Too too too full from dinner to eat cake. Decide to put cake off until Saturday night.
Saturday Night - CAKE NIGHT! Tastes just like regular chocolate cake. Good to know.
Sunday Morning - Watch some movie on cable just because it’s called Cake. Turn it off about an hour in when they fail to supply me with even a single cake shot.
The grocery store had both of my favorite foods. And just in time for lunch!
(I can’t even begin to think about all the people in my life that must be so proud of me and my dietary decisions right now.)
At the risk of being one of those people who blames fast food for their problems -
Thanks a lot, McDonalds, for teaching me at a young age that honey goes on chicken.
The months of reruns and pain the writers put me through while they were on strike were all forgiven last night with one line from 30 Rock:
You and Jack Donaghy are the cause of my jawline acne.
Ha! As always, well done, Tina Fey.
From i.m. in regards to PaperBackSwap:
Jlou: On a scale of 1-10, how dorky is it that we’re all this excited about used books?
A.B.: 12.5
Jlou: I thought so.
As a former shelter kitty, Eppes thought it was only appropriate that she show her support for ASPCA Day today. Alas, we did not have much in the way of orange, Eppes-sized outfits.
Big news, everybody! The newly updated Sweet Valley High books were just released. OK, that’s not the exciting part. Allow me to explain. For those of you unfamiliar, the Sweet Valley High series followed the high school careers of twin sisters, bookish Elizabeth and sluttish Jessica (in all fairness, I don’t think she actually did anything slutty, but if you were to pass her on the street, I’m fairly confident the first word that would come to mind would be “slut”). Other than that I remember very little about the series. What I do remember, what stuck with me for all these years, is that the books frequently talked about the perfection that was the size 6 body. Aren’t we all jealous? Well, I wasn’t. Know why? Because by the time I read the books they had been out for a decade or so. I was fairly confident that, while a size 6 may have been the goal when they were originally written, the modern goal was obviously a size 4 (awful, I know). So back to the excitement… The new versions of the books have been updated to appeal to today’s young girls. And, according to my sources, the twins are now “perfect” size 4s!
I’m disgusted by a number of things:
1. The main thing I remember from the books is the size 6 thing.
2. Whatever it was that convinced me a size 4 was perfect.
3. They felt the need to change from a size 6. Clearly if they left it size 6 there would be girl like me scoffing at it, but did they really need to include a size at all?
Despite the above, I can’t help but feel somewhat triumphant having made this call so many years ago.